posh.wiki

Content warning: This post touches on my experiences with disordered eating (both under- and over-eating) and actions that could be considered child abuse. Mentions of under-eating also appear in the video I link to. If hearing about that would be upsetting to you, maybe skip this one.

Wow, this is a long post, and I spent a very long time writing it, perhaps longer than any post I've made before. I don't even think this topic is something I'm so passionate about compared to the other things I write about. I suppose I just have a lot to say.

I actually had to look up how to spell this word. It's vegetarian, not vegeterian.

History

I grew up eating meat. It was just a normal part of life, something I've done for as long as I can remember. I'm not going to go on some rant about how no child should be subjected to that or whatever - it's a normal part of life for the people who raised me, and if I can forgive myself for all the stupid shit I did as a teenager (and all the stupid bugs I've written since then), I can forgive myself for eating meat.

I suppose I was vaguely aware that vegetarianism was an option since I started going to school. At lunch, there was always one option with meat, and one without. Come to think of it, why was there a meat option literally every day? Not to suggest that it should have been all vegetarian all the time (although...), but like, are there kids whose parents would get mad if they weren't offered meat one day?

Of course, I also saw the stereotypes on TV and social media, of vegetarians being preachy and annoying. I can understand the desire to share one's perspective on vegetarianism (see what I'm doing now?), and things like animal rights protests and charity campaigns, but most motivations for vegetarianism are founded in empathy, and harassing people is definitely not empathetic.

Anyways, growing up I never really thought too much about where meat came from. I was aware it was animals, sure, but it was also just food to me, with no important distinction between it and vegetables. I didn't associate it with the animals I grew up with, I didn't think about the suffering of the animals, and I had no clue about the environmental impact.

On top of that, I developed some dietary issues in my teenage years, which severely restricted what I was able and willing to eat. Before these issues developed, I used to eat loads - way more than I do even now, despite being so much smaller, to the point that it was probably quite unhealthy. As these issues developed, though, the consequences of eating became incredibly uncomfortable, even painful. This wasn't great for me socially, either - with certain members of my family insisting to my doctors and my school that I was just lazy and faking it to get out of doing things, leading to constantly being unable to get the medical care I needed and called a lazy liar both at home and at school. As a result, I became afraid of what eating would lead to, and I began to eat far less. Most days I would eat a single carb-heavy meal to give me the calories I needed to get through the next day, and nothing more. People told me I looked like I'd lost weight at first, then told me I looked malnourished. I felt tired and hungry all the time. Taking any food that wouldn't lead to dietary problems (which included meat) off the menu seemed like an awful idea at the time.

(I'm happy to say I'm doing better on this front now! I moved away from my family immediately after I left school. I ended up getting the medical attention I needed without interference, and can manage my condition a lot better now. I have much more healthy eating habits, and I'm lucky to have friends and a job that are understanding of what I go through and never make me feel bad about it. I can eat all sorts now, and I've discovered so many more foods I love than ever before.)

(Also, sidenote - In this post, I talk about "my experiences with disordered eating", rather than saying "I had an eating disorder", because I was never diagnosed as such by medical professionals. I'm fine with people saying this colloquially, though, and even do so myself.)

All this is no attempt to excuse or exonerate myself. Eating meat was always a normal, socially accepted and even encouraged part of my life. I think it's healthy to feel at least a little guilt about the suffering I indirectly contributed to in the past, but everything I've ever done is an integral part of who I am now, and I try my best to own all of it.

Getting over the blockers

The point I really started to question things was while I was watching a video by Jaiden Animations a few months ago. I've been following Jaiden for as long as I can remember, and loved her videos even across all I've changed in the past decade-and-a-bit. She talks about her experience with vegetarianism and veganism, how it ties into her experience with eating disorders, and advice for people who are at least tangentially interested in vegetarianism. Jaiden says:

[...] if I were to humbly request you take anything from this video, it would be to try and be a bit more conscious about food... maybe just try and be a bit more cognisant and appreciative of what [meat] is and where it came from.

But I think this is a lot more impactful, at least for me, paired with what she says just before that:

[...] you can just keep eating [meat you don't want to give up] while avoiding the easier stuff [...] the all or nothing mentality of going meatless is the main thing that makes people too intimidated to try.

That's really what got me. It's not necessary, not even realistic, to just decide to swear off all meat starting right here right now and claim the label of gold-star vegetarian, but anyone can make the choice to reduce the amount of meat they consume, be it by choosing to forgo eating meat certain days of the week or month, thinking about meatless alternatives while shopping, or other things!

Come to think of it, I also have a few vegetarian friends who are normal. Well... they're my friends, they're not normal, but not because they're vegetarians. Point being, my lived experience now contradicts the stereotypes. There are so many people in the world who are just casually vegetarian, as a normal part of their daily lives.

Among those friends, some have other dietary restrictions like I do, and they still manage to enjoy a variety of food and eat relatively healthily. Between that and having learned to manage my digestive problems, it turned out that reducing meat wasn't so bad after all.

Meat is convenient, sure - most ready meals and such contain it, and it's easy to integrate various meats as part of home cooked meals, but on that front I can draw from a philosophy I embrace digitally: reject convenience. Sometimes it's better for both you and everyone else to go out of your way and do something that's a little less easy than it could be, whether that be in terms of digital privacy or animal welfare.

And sure, humans have eaten meat for all of history. We have teeth and enzymes that make it well-suited for us. For most of history, plant based diets weren't feasible, because we didn't have fresh crops all the time. But now, it's perfectly normal to be able to eat a plant-based diet year-round.

And, I suppose I was always living in denial, to a level. I've never been comfortable handling raw meat, I'd always buy it pre-cooked and ready to eat. Perhaps this is just a sensory thing and everybody is uncomfortable handling chicken breasts, or perhaps it was some misinterpreted form of guilt born of my inability to mentally separate the animal from the food.

Motivations

So, there go all the reasons I wouldn't want to be vegetarian, and a revelation about how feasible it is. With that, I started looking into the pros. I'm not going to cite anything here, I encourage you to look into these on your own if you're interested!

Of course, there's the moral reasons. The meat industry does things far worse than just killing animals. Their living conditions are often inhumanely small and unclean and breeding grounds for disease, and many livestock are specifically bred to optimise for meat and food production at the cost of their health and comfort. The more people who eat meat-reduced or meat-free diets, the less profitable the industry is, the fewer animals suffer. The power of that is really in the numbers and the time: as a simplified example, perhaps if you forgo, say, 10 steaks, it saves a single cow, but also, if 10 people forgo 1 steak each, that also saves a cow, and if 10 people forgo 10 steaks each, that saves 10 cows. Every decision helps, even if it does not equate 1-to-1 with an animal who won't be killed.

There's also an environmental impact. I've seen it claimed quite a lot that the meat industry is responsible for a higher percentage of greenhouse gas emissions than the entire transport industry. It does take a truly insane amount of water and produce an unfathomable amount of carbon dioxide just to create one portion of meat, so reducing meat consumption also helps to slow global warming.

Personal health is one that's been resonating with me more recently, ever since I took up liuhebafa (a Chinese martial art often likened to tai chi - I have another blogpost about it!). Vegetarianism is associated with decreased risk of heart disease, type 2 diabetes, high blood pressure, and certain types of cancer. Do note, just eliminating meat doesn't do all that, it's also important to make healthy choices within a plant-based diet!

An aside on meat alternatives

I gather that "fake meat" is somewhat controversial among vegetarians. Some think that it's a great gateway to help more people make steps towards more plant-based diets, while others think that it's an indulgence of an immoral desire and that the goal should be to radicalise meat eaters rather than placate them.

I'm going to be the one to say it: I think meat is great! It can help to make meals more enjoyable and it has nutritional value that's difficult to supplement, especially zinc, vitamin B12, and iron. Fake meat can scratch the flavourful and textural itch, and bonus points if it's fortified with things like vitamin B12, which are more difficult to get on a plant-based diet. I'm on team fake meat all the way.

But, that's not the point I want to make here. The point I want to make here is that I have a niche take on fake meat vs meat alternatives.

When I say "fake meat", I mean things that are specifically designed to mimic the taste and texture of meat, like beetroot-based plant patties or deli slices made from mycoprotein.

Meat alternatives, meanwhile, are food products that are commonly used in place of meat for their taste, texture, and/or nutritional value, but are not necessarily designed for the purpose of emulating meat. Things like tofu and a variety of mushrooms fall into this category.

I think more meat-eaters and even some anti-fake-meat vegetarians could benefit from trying to enjoy foods perceived as "meat alternatives" without treating them as such. These foods can be enjoyed in their own right, even alongside meat. You don't have to use them as a substitute, and in fact, if more people did then that could make them more mainstream and decrease their cost!

An aside on financial motivations

Speaking of cost, though, I'm slightly troubled by the motivation that meat-free diets can be more affordable than omnivorous ones.

If you can save some money on this front to spend on other needs or wants (or even donate some to a cause you're passionate about!), that's great! But I don't think anyone should have to go vegetarian for financial incentives. Everyone should be able to afford to eat what they want - or, better yet, food should just be free, as much as you want, because as a planet we have more than enough of it!

Though, that's overly optimistic, and it doesn't reflect how the world works right now. I recognise that I'm lucky to be able to afford to eat everything I want to*, and I try to keep in mind that a lot of people are in more desperate situations and have to make such choices purely as a matter of survival.

And of course, there are certainly ways to eat a meat-free diet that cost just as much as, if not more than an omnivorous diet. A lower grocery bill isn't a built-in guarantee of vegetarianism.

An un-anticipated aside about censorship and Palestine

When talking about how I'm lucky enough to be able to afford to eat what I want, I was going to insert a small comment about how a large Domino's pizza every day would be a bit beyond budget, but you get the idea, and note that the pesto and goat's cheese pizza from Domino's' Italianos range is quite nice and suitable for vegetarians.

Alas, in doing so, I would be remiss not to mention how Domino's is on quite a few boycott lists, because is allegedly provides free meals to Israeli soldiers, according to Disoccupied.

Disoccupied links to a source from Cleveland Jewish News... which gives HTTP 451 "unavailable for legal reasons" with my VPN off since I'm in the European Economic Area, and HTTP 429 "too many requests" with VPN on. I had to cycle through FOUR different Tor circuits to read it.

And the source doesn't even support the claim. It says, "Also on Thursday, Domino’s Pizza Israel opened strictly kosher branches in Tel Aviv Port and the nearby suburb of Givatayim. The chain intends to open two additional mehadrin branches in central Israel’s Sharon district.", and talks about how McDonald's' Israel franchise announced that it was providing free meals to Israeli soldiers. I suspect that someone mis-interpreted the article.

You can read the full Cleveland Jewish News article, exactly as it appeared at time of writing, here via the Wayback Machine (Internet Archive). This works wherever you are, VPN or not.

Besides that, I've found no evidence that Domino's supports Israel, beyond having 33 stores in the country. I'm not saying that this settles every doubt about Domino's, but due to the lack of coverage I remain unable to confirm or deny with reputable sources if Domino's has provided free meals to Israeli soldiers as the boycott lists allege.

So, fuck censorship, and free Palestine.

So what am I actually doing?

I don't really call myself a vegetarian. I mean, if I go out to eat, maybe I'll tell them I'm vegetarian if I'm asking for a recommendation, but I don't go around rejecting food that's offered to me on the basis of it containing meat. I'm not actually opposed to the idea of ever eating meat.

But I've been doing my best to avoid buying meat where I can. For the last few months, I've definitely eaten some meat, but significantly less than before, and very little of that has been meat that I purchased myself. And honestly, I feel better for it! Emotionally, and also physically - maybe that's a placebo from feeling more moral, or maybe not.

So, maybe you should give it a try too! Again, you don't have to go all-out vegetarian now or ever, but every time you choose a plant-based option over meat, it helps you and every other living creature just a little bit, and it all adds up.

As for veganism, even if dairy animals and egg-laying birds aren't killed for their produce, a lot of them are still kept in inhumane conditions and aren't allowed to live fulfilling lives. Perhaps in future I may make more vegan choices as well, in the spirit of negative utilitarianism. I don't imagine that would be particularly difficult - I don't consume animal milk anyway, so I'd pretty much just be giving up eggs and cheese.